"Huh?"
"Do you love me?" Willow repeated.
"I . . . how . . . I didn't know you could hear me."
"I was drifting a lot," the witch explained, and then pinned her friend with determined green eyes. "But you can't expect to say something like that and then expect me to forget it. Do you love me?"
"I've tried not to, but I can't."
There was silence for a moment and Buffy risked a peek at her friend. Willow didn't look disgusted, simply confused.
"I'm sorry Will. I know this is the worst timing possible, and if I had known you could hear me I would never have said anything."
Still the redhead said nothing.
"I'll . . . I'll get over it. Eventually. You don't need to say anything and I know you don't feel the same way-"
"I do," Willow cut her off. "That's the problem. It would be so much easier if I didn't, but I do. I love you so much."
"Will, you don't have to say that."
"I know. I'm saying it because I'm being honest. And it's time."
"Time?"
"Time that I stopped hiding myself and became the person you think I am. I'm not brave, or fearless . . . I don't have any more confidence than I had when you first met me. It's just that I know what's out there, and what could happed to me, and I'm more afraid of dying unhappy than I am of what people think of me. If that comes out as bravery, then so be it. You taught me so much about living each day as if it could be my last because it really could, so now I have to live that."
"I don't . . ."
Willow smiled gently. "I know. I'm confused too. I love you so much, but I also love Tara. Xander said-"
"Xander?"
"Yeah. He said that I have to decide who I love more because if I don't I'll just end up hurting all of us. Well, he didn't say exactly that but it was what he meant."
"Xander?"
"You're not getting past that any time soon, are you?"
"Xander?"
"Buff, are you ok?"
"Xander?"
Willow looked at Buffy, taking in the wide-eyed look of shock on her face, and grinned. "Yeah, Xander. You know, I think Anya's widened his mind a bit. She might even be good for him, even if she is a bit . . . uber-Cordeliaish."
"Xander?"
"Uh, Buff, could you focus a bit? Please?"
"Sorry Will, but Xander?"
"Focus?"
"Ok."
Buffy took a deep breath and glanced to the side to see Willow looking at her, concerned, but with warmth in her eyes. Warmth that had, she now realised, been there all along but she had been too blinded by her own fears to see it.
"Why did you wait so long?" Willow asked.
The Slayer took a moment to sort her thoughts out before she began. "I didn't know at first. I just knew I really wanted you as a friend. You seemed kind and loyal, and that was something I didn't have back in LA. All my old friends made tracks as fast as they could when I stopped being the old Buffy, but you seemed to genuinely like me."
"I do."
"Thanks. Anyway, then you got caught up in your crush on Xander, and then there was Oz, and I figured that you'd be icked out if I told you how I was feeling. It seemed like the ultimate betrayal. You're my best friend, you trust me, and I'm having feelings for you that I shouldn't."
"Been there; not a nice place."
"And then there was Tara and I realised that I'd missed my chance with you. The day you told me all I could think was what and idiot I'd been."
"I'm sorry Buffy."
"It's not your fault. I should have said something sooner. Now it's too late."
"It doesn't have to be."
"It doesn't?"
"No, it doesn't. If you don't want it to be."
"But . . . what about Tara? You love her - I can't take you away from that."
Willow looked down at the blanket and began picking at it distractedly. "I don't know."
Turning to her, Buffy took her courage in her hands and gently placed a finger under Willow's chin. "Will," she said, trying to lift her friend's face so she could see into her eyes, "look at me. Please?"
The redhead allowed Buffy to lift her chin and looked at her, confused green eyes meeting sad blue ones.
"I love you," Buffy said softly. "But I don't want you to do something you're not sure about. If you left Tara to be with me and discovered that it wasn't what you really wanted I would never forgive myself. I can force myself to forget that we ever had this conversation if you want me to - it's your decision. We can't decide something like this in the aftermath of a scary thing like being trapped in a cave. This has to be a rational, calm decision unlike all my previous relationships because you mean too much to me to want to ruin our friendship. If we take this further and it doesn't work out I don't want to lose the best friend I've ever had. So we need to think."
"Buffy," Willow whispered.
The Slayer suddenly realised what a dangerous position she was in, so close to the girl she loved that she could feel her warm breath on her cheek.
"Willow, I . . ."
She trailed off as she realised that Willow's eyes, usually so cool and green, were now darkening as she watched. Very slowly, so slowly she was not even sure she was doing it, she began to move towards the other girl. With a slight shock, Buffy realised that Willow was also moving towards her.
"Buffy," Willow whispered again, her breath warming Buffy's lips.
A loud knock sounded at the door and it opened immediately.
Buffy somehow managed to be standing several feet away from the bed before the nurse came into the room.
"Oh, good, you're awake," the short, tubby nurse said cheerfully. "That's good to see. The doctor will be round soon to check on you and then you can have some breakfast. If your tests come back fine you'll probably be leaving here soon."
"Thanks," Willow said absently, watching Buffy. "Buffy, I-"
"You know, I have to go and check in with mom. She's probably wondering what happened to me by now."
"Buffy-"
"I need to think - you need to think. I'll call you."
Willow watched in shock as the blonde girl bolted through the door without looking at her.
*finis*