"Heads," Willow called.
"Heads it is," Xander confirmed. "Just you wait - my team is going to slaughter yours."
"Xander, you can't draw for peanuts, neither can Anya and I usually have to draw Amy's spell diagrams to make sure we don't have anymore pig-manifestations."
"It was a cute pig," Amy objected.
"It still wasn't a tracking spell though," Willow returned. "Face it Xander - you don't have a chance of winning Pictionary and you know it."
"You mock me now, but I'll be the mocker when I stamp on your team," Xander taunted.
"Can we just play already?" Buffy said grumpily.
"Somebody's not Little Miss Happy today," Anya commented.
Buffy poked her tongue out and said nothing.
"Be nice," Xander whispered to her. "She couldn't fit into her jeans this morning."
"You are looking a bit fatter," Anya said tactlessly.
Buffy promptly burst into tears and made a dash for her bedroom.
"Thank you Anya," Giles said sarcastically. "It only took me two hours to persuade her to come downstairs today. She's feeling ugly and that was so much help."
With that he strode out of the room.
"Buffy," Giles called through their bedroom door. He could hear her quiet, hiccuping sobs, slightly muffled as though she was hiding her face in a pillow. Which she probably was. In the month since Travers' visit Buffy's moods had become increasingly unpredictable. It was the hormones of the pregnancy exaggerating her natural mood swings but Giles could never cope well with her tears.
He sat down with his back against the wall to try to coax her out of the room. "Buffy, love, what's wrong?" he asked quietly.
There was silence for a moment, and he could hear his beautiful Slayer stifling her sobs. "I-I'm fat, a-and ugly, and I don't want you to see me until I'm not."
"Love, you're pregnant not fat. I think you're beautiful."
"I'm not. I can't even fit into my jeans!"
"So your figure is a little fuller than before. I always thought you were a little thin before. Now, you're pregnant with my child and I couldn't be happier."
"Rupert, you aren't me. You don't know how it feels to look like the Michelin man on a fat day."
"Buffy, I love you," Giles said, trying to think of something to say that would not sound trite or could be taken badly. A thought struck him, and he immediately dismissed it as being silly and sentimental. Then he went back to it and considered. She might appreciate this . . . "Do you remember shortly after we met there was a nest of Venga demons in Whetherly Park? We all went to flush them out - Xander and Willow would not let us go alone - and you were trying to slay them when it began to rain and the demons all dissolved." There was no sound now through the door. "We hadn't had any rain for a month and you were so happy to see the rain you splashed around in the park until we were all soaked. Then you three played chase and I tried not to laugh at you. I remember the joy and happiness on your face that night. When I look at you, or even think of you, that is what I see."
"A drowned-rat Buffy?" came the quiet question.
Her voice now came from just the other side of the door and Giles smiled faintly. "No. A beautiful woman who loves life. Who can take joy in something as simple as a rainfall. Who has a heart so loving she can love people who don't deserve it. Who is brave enough to love again even after being hurt. Who is as beautiful inside as she is outside."
The door cracked open and a reddened blue eye peeked out. "Really?"
"Yes, really." Giles shifted so that he was kneeling to look straight into Buffy's eye. "I love you and I could never think you're fat. If it makes you feel better I'll go and hit Anya," he offered, smiling at her.
She considered it for a moment. "Nah, I'm sure Xander's yelled at her by now."
The door opened completely and Buffy reached up to give her husband a long, toe-curling kiss. "You are the best husband I could ask for," she whispered when she released him.
Giles cleared his throat and tried to speak, "I-I-I-I . . ."
"I know," she grinned at him, her slightly reddened eyes twinkling with life again. "Uh, Rupert? I'd love to continue this, but I kinda need . . . ice-cream."
"Ice-cream?"
Buffy nodded vigorously. "I'm hungry and I think the baby wants ice-cream. Please? I'll be really nice to you later."
These mood swings are going to kill me, Giles thought as he stood.
They went downstairs hand in hand and ducked into the lounge briefly to tell their friends where they were going. Buffy was surprised when Anya asked them to wait and rushed into the kitchen. They heard her opening and closing cupboards, searching for something, and then she returned with . . .
"Gherkins?" Buffy queried when the ex-demon handed her a jar.
"You're pregnant. You have weird cravings. I read about them," Anya stated proudly. "I'm sorry I made comments about your weight. I'm sure you'll lose it all after the baby is born."
Anya's voice was not very apologetic, and she glanced at Xander as she spoke, but the blonde Slayer understood what she was trying to say. "Thanks Anya, but I'm not really in the mood for gherkins and ice-cream. I'm more in a mint-chocolate-chip mood, with possibly cream and fudge sauce, but mainly just ice-cream."
***
"I think I am the luckiest person alive right now," Buffy commented as they walked home from the ice-cream parlour hand in hand. "I'm married to the best husband in the world, I'm gonna have a baby which I never thought would happen, and I have friends who are better than family. We haven't heard from the Council in over a month and Mom is slowly getting used to the idea of 'us'. She may even be happy about the baby when she graduates college."
"She?" Giles enquired mildly.
"Or he, I'm not sure what I'd prefer."
"So long as he's healthy I'll be the happiest man alive."
"Who woulda guessed that under the stuffy librarian there was a sexy, mushy man?" she teased him.
Neither of them noticed the dark blue van as it slowly rounded the corner and advanced on them.
"Aww, I've made you blush," Buffy continued her teasing.
"I-I, uh, I-" Giles stuttered, continuing to blush.
"Y'know, if I'd known how much fun this was I would have tried it years ago," Buffy said with a thoughtful grin.
"T-tried what?"
"Complimenting you. Loving you. Kissing you."
She suited her words and pulled his head down for a quick kiss, so neither of them noticed as the navy van slowed and halted beside them. The first inkling either of them had that anything was wrong came when Giles felt blinding pain in his skull.
Buffy gasped as her husband fell at her feet, unconscious, and looked up to see Short Tweed and two henchmen, dressed in a mix of leather and woollen turtlenecks, surrounding her. They all held revolvers pointed at her and Giles, and Short Tweed held the wooden bat her had used to knock out the Watcher.
Shock held her speechless as Short Tweed said, with a nasty smile, "We are here to take you into custody Miss Summers. Any further attempts at resistance would not be wise. I doubt you want us to be forced to kill anyone in self-defence?" he said this with a significant look at Giles.
"Bastard," she spat, but held still. "And it's Mrs Giles, thank you."
"Feisty to the end," Short Tweed muttered. "Load her up - and this time? Remember to use the special chains. Wouldn't want Miss Summers here to get free now, would we?"
The Watchers efficiently chained and gagged Buffy, deposited her on a seat in the van, and chained her to that as well. When he was satisfied she would not escape Short Tweed took the wheel and they drove away, leaving Giles unconscious in the street.
*finis*